Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Detox 101

I like to detox. I do, it is just a fact. It is hard, and mostly crazy, but in the end it feels really great, and so I like to do it. I did "The Master Cleanse" at the end of last summer. I totally needed to be cleansed after last summer, and it worked, but man, that one was hard. In the winter, I tried one from Blessed Herb. That one was nice because it was only five days and the solution to drink was ginger flavored and the makers suggested mixing it with some organic apple juice. Dan was traveling at the time, so the kids ate pasta, couscous, and cheese for a week and I drank weird, gritty, ginger-apple juice concoction. I didn't find that quite as satisfying at the first one, but let's face it, I was less dirty.

Today is Day 1 of the Metagenics Ten Day Detox. I am mostly doing this one because I suggest to people, via my super fancy job as a nutritional coach, that they should do it. Then they ask me how it is and what it tastes like, and I can't give them an honest answer. I figured, if this summer is anything like last, I thought I would get ahead of the game and do a little work research.

What people need to know about detoxing - the highlights
  • No sugar - if you are a junkie (and you know who you are) this is hard and you will withdrawal. I, however, could really care less about sugar, so that is no biggie for me.
  • No caffeine - for the love of all that is good and pure, this is the most awful part of detoxing. I don't care about having to drink my meals for five days, eat only leafy greens, or concoct some weird apple-ginger sand like substance. I need to find a detox where all I do is drink coffee, with caffeine.
  • Don't start on a Tuesday. Tuesdays are the Devil's day and Tuesday+Detox-caffeine= HORROR (just ask my kids - they will most likely have emotional scarring from today...sorry kids! Mommy love you, really I do!)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Maple Syrup

I know it has been a month - over a month. And I want you all to know that I have lots of drafts. Drafts about a book challenge I sign on for, for which I need to read fifty books by Decemeber - I've read eleven. I think it is pretty safe to say that I am going to fail that challenge. I have a draft about a fun and funny dinner out with my Helgadus, and our discussion about how the same name can be a stripper, porn star, or debutante depending on the spelling. I have a draft about our recent trip to Disney, which was great fun, FYI, but I wanted to upload a picture to go with it and the battery of my camera died, and I can't find the charger to charge the battery - so what is a girl to do, but not post it, of course.

So what have I been doing for this past month and a half if I'm not blogging? I have been looking for my Season 1 of Glee. Yes, that's right, I bought it. It makes me happy when they sing and dance, and I like to watch it while I am working out on the elliptical - because my beloved treadmill still doesn't work. Boo! But yes, in the winter months, Dan was traveling quite a bit and I purchased Glee for myself, because he was gone and watching it wasn't going to give me nightmares. But I have misplaced it. I know that I misplaced it because my tiny, little mischief maker liked to take all the discs out of the case, so I put it somewhere he wouldn't be able to reach, and now I can't find it.

I have looked everywhere-- the bookshelves, all five cases...the craft closet, the pantry shelves, the fridge and freezer in basement. I have looked under the furniture, under the cushion, under the bro's workbench. I have looked in the game closet, in my closet, on my desk, on Dan's desk and in the filing cabinet. And then I looked in all of those places at least twenty more times.

It reminds me of the time I lost the maple syrup, only to find that it had fallen behind the tea, which no one drinks. So I looked in there, just to be sure...no such luck.

Friday, May 6, 2011


This is the time of year that I get all sentimental and remember my dad. I have this old, green Ben and Jerry's t-shirt. A shirt that I have had since my freshman year in college. It has holes all around the collar and normally would be something I could easily purge. But this shirt I bought with my parents, both of them, my freshman year in college.

My father is a presence and a noted absence in our house. Natalie has memories of him, but I am sure over time her brief three years with him will just be hazy, and to the bro he is just a picture and name that I saddled him with. But obviously I have many memories of my father, some that I go back to time and time again when I think about him. Some funny, some annoying, and some that I hear come out in my own parenting. The bro is a pretty early riser, as am I, but on those rare occasions that I am up before I think about all the very early morning Saturday breakfasts my father and I had at the Bar-B-Cue House where he would always order eggs, and I would order blueberry blintzes with sour cream or we went to Denny's where he would always order eggs and I would order a fruit cup and hash browns. The way I remember it, we did this every Saturday on my early childhood because we were the only two up at 6:30am. When the bro wakes, I wonder if he and I will do this as Dan and Natalie sleep in.

Sometimes, it is the memory of my wedding and how he wouldn't' leave me alone. I mean he was seriously annoying. Which, now, I of course look back on with fondness. I remember, as well all line up and the procession started, I began to hyperventilate, and my dad, not a funny man, told me he wished he knew a joke in order to make me laugh...I think the thought of him being funny made me laugh.

But this shirt, I stick my face in it, and I cry-- because my father bought this ratty, old shirt for me, and I miss him every single day, and I feel like throwing out this shirt is like throwing away a small piece of him that I am able to actually hold on to forever.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Sunday I ran my second official 5K. It was a really nice one, too. The weather was perfect, the race started at 10, and it was 10 minutes from my house. The course was a path that we drive regularly, so it was kind of nice to run something I was very familiar with. It had some decent inclines too, which I always remind myself, as I run, that what goes up must come down.

My friend, Elana, an avid runner, sets her sights on someone to pass in order to push herself. I thought I would try that, too. Granted I set my sights on a thirteen year old kid and a woman with a stroller, but I passed them. Go me! I passed a third person, but I am pretty sure that shew as slowing down due to a cramp. I knew that I was running at a pretty good pace (for me) and I probably would have finished in less time if it weren't for the fact that due to birthing two children, (TMI warning, continue reading at your own risk) when I push myself running about 5.5 or 6 mph, basically, it looks as though I have peed myself. I blame the bro for this, as he sat very, very low throughout the entire pregnancy. There were times I thought I would sneeze and he would pop right out. **Don't be mad at me if you kept reading-- I warned you!

Anyway, due to this incontinence, I became quite self conscious and rigged my jacket to act as a running skirt. Had I not worried about this or not had this issue, I feel I could have run it in 30 minutes flat. Oh well. This is a personal best for me, and I was more than pleased to run a ten minute mile because for that, it can only go down from here.

But most importantly, there at the finish line was my little family, with Natalie jumping up and down cheering me on and that was worth an extra 57 seconds on my time.