Saturday, March 7, 2009

Fondos and Fondon'ts

Friday night was a triple threat - a fondue dinner, the company of  Steve and Scott (aka Steve's "people") and no children.  Ahhhh, to be reminded, albeit for a short while, that I do in fact have a life.
  • Do have one n in your Jen
  • Do be aware that new servers who come to your table may be a little frightened by liquored-up extroverts.
  • If one of your dining companions has finished their glass of wine before the next bottle comes, do share the wealth in yours
  • Do pay attention in the meat round, judgement may be impaired by alcohol, steaming bouillon and dim lighting, and you run the risk of e.coli.  Fonfork the meat, transfer to plate, and as disappointing as it is eat with plain old fork.
  • Do insider trading. There are special chocolate combos that only the servers know about.
  • Do be careful of flaming 151 and relish in the memories of drunken cab rides and marks left on Atlantic Avenue.
  • Do approach random gay men and ask what they are drinking, a bomb pop martini is a fabulous spin on a childhood classic.
  • Don't be a hostess troll, if you are going to force us out of the bar to be seated, don't then ask if we want to wait while our fourth party takes care of the tab.
  • Don't talk about human excrement or corn and nuts 
  • Don't be overzealous with your fonfork, spearing your mouth will hurt
  •  Don't say vAHzz, fondue doesn't make you fancy and you will be immediately made fun of by your dinner companions.
  • Don't overstay your welcome, the manager will approach your table and subliminally suggest you get out.
  • Don't take notes while you are eating dinner, it apparently alienates your dinner companions

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