As I checked my email this morning, I saw one titled "Birthdays" from my dear friend, Holly. I immediately assumed that this email would provide me with information about her son's upcoming party, you know, the time - minor details. But instead, I found this amazingly well written realization of life, and I felt the need to share it with the eight of you. Holly is one of my most important touchstones to reality and this email is one more testament to why she is so essential to my well being. Another Jersey girl at heart she always tells me how it is - no sugar coating, no hugs and kisses, and for that I will always love her.
What I have kept reminding myself is that hey, there are some advantages to being slightly over life's first real "hill":
1. We know who we are and we know that who we are is exactly who we want to be. Always. If you don't like it go screw. I couldn't always say that.
2. How we look in a bathing suit is so much less important. Case in point "You look really good for having 2 kids". What the hell. I know that means "you're' a little flabby but you're a mom so no one's really looking & besides you're not in your twenties anymore so what do you expect?" Why the hell did I used to think that everyone was always looking at me and rating me? They weren't. If I'd have known that I wouldn't have worried about sucking in my gut all the time and I would have relaxed at the beach since those days are over now.
3. Our husbands are also over the hill, & so are our friends. I couldn't be friends with a person in thier 20's...another case in point: my sisters. Love 'em but jeez,, the drama of the egocentric years of 24-26!
4. This is it. This is the time that we will look back on as the time that we met with success. We run the house, take care of kids and babies, make sure everyone has everything that they could possibly need and want, settle every conflict, remember to pack every important item, feed our families healthy dinners, feed the dogs, occasionally vaccuum, bring in firewood, pay the bills, wake up to find the missing blankie or stuffed giraffey at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., & 5 a.m., know how to hold everyone just right, and sometimes, just sometimes, have a moment to breathe. AND we do it all while looking pretty damned good.
5. I think if I had to pick I would freeze us right now. I just might stay 31 forever. At 29 I was pretty pregnant for the 1st time and not so sure what was up with so many things. This is soooo much better.
So, I guess what I am saying is that you can be sure that with every bit of blah-ness that goes along with the realization that after 30 it is theoretically all downhill from here there is the silver lining- downhill is the easy part. Maybe we will be able to relax and enjoy our lives and the people we love now that we are done setting everything up.
By the way, good job on the trip to Jersey. I for one know the anxiety that goes along with that. There are no mall parking lots or rest areas that I have not stopped at to breast feed a baby, let someone sprinkle the parking lot, or clean up puke. All to visit family. Gotta love it. I love that you get it too.